ROCKET PENGUINS AND THE DESTRUCTION OF POTATO LAND, SEA AND AIR!

"Are you sure about this? I mean, your head has not stopped saying "Vagina malfunction" for the past 6 hours." "Yes, I'm sure. Besides, it'll only take a few minutes. I'm sure it won't act up again."
 As we all know, Mavis has a vagina on her head. Don't ask me why. Just don't.
"Good morning people, we are gathered here today for the unveiling of Long Shen Corporation's new line of products! So without any further ado, let's introduce them!" M quickly got off the stage, while her head announced "VAGINA MALFUNCTION VAGINA MALFUNCTION PLEASE GET IT REPLACED NOW!" while several penguins waddled on. They looked really uncomfortable. And when I said "they" I meant M and the penguins. Ooh, we should make that a TV show!
You would too, given the circumstances.
"As we all know, we love penguins. Especially Wui Seng (who was at this moment pretty much spazzing out and saying things like "GOSH THEY'RE SO FLUFFY CAN I HUG THEM?"). They're extremely good swimmers, have streamlined bodies and  So, these penguins have been equipped with high efficiency mass propulsion units (otherwise known as "We shoved rockets up their arses just for the heck of it") to enable them to cover great distances with minimal effort. But what's the point of all this if all our penguins do is just shoot off everywhere? To make them several times more usefuller, we've also shoved several tonnes of explosives down them the other way, complete with matter compression technology that may or may not be 100% reliable. Rest assured, if there is a-VAGINA MALFUNCTION thank you very much M we will be collecting all the insurance. Because we own your insurance companies, remember?"
Please look up Long Shen rule number 6: Sex is paramount.
"But what is the whole point of this if you don't know if our penguins work? After all, if we sold you a penguin with a-VAGINA MALFUNCTION thank you again M you'd never hear the end of it. So we shall now test out new product on Potato Land, Sea and Air!"
Because what kind of country only owns the land anyway? It needs airspace and seaspace or whatever you call the damn thing.
"YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" Mr. Potato shouted (Hang on a minute he went flying out of the window last time, didn't he?). "CRASH!" Mr. Potato was sent flying out of the window again. "AND NOW WE SHALL LAUNCH THE PENGUINS! COWER IN FEAR AT OUR LATEST WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION-VAGINA MALFUNCTION! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ok just launch the damn things already."

A penguin gave a small squeak. And they all looked up as the roof of the building opened up, and suddenly the penguins were all sent flying upwards with rainbow trails streaming out of their behinds.
If Rainbow Dash was black and white and had flippers, I suppose that would be a good description for this moment.
"Now, if you would kindly switch to our satellite which is in orbit over Potato Land, Sea and Air, you will see the effects soon."

And suddenly a huge- VAGINA MALFUNCTION ok M you really need to shut that thing up anyway a really huge mushroom cloud appeared. And Potato Land, Sea and Air was no more. Everyone clapped. Except for Mr. Potato who had been thrown out of the window.

THE END. (For now at least. Or until I think of something else.)