Sunday 17 March 2013

THE NUCLEAR MISSILE SEAN'S ROBOT TIE COMMENTARY CANNON PENIS STORY!

Please read this before continuing. It'll help. Disclaimer: We are not responsible for any grievous bodily harm resulting from carrying out extensive modifications to your penis in the hopes of turning it into a weapon. If anything happens, please don't come to us crying.
Also, please note that if you do succeed in turning you penis into a weapon of mass destruction, that there are no condoms built to withstand laser blasts and that you have now turned sex into a very dangerous game. Thank you.
Wui Seng woke up and realised he'd been dozing on a chair in the middle of the school field. What worried him was that he was strapped to the chair which was strapped to a nuclear missile. And that her/his Royal Highness and Queen/King of North Korea June was standing over him.

"Uhh... This isn't some kind of BDSM thingy, is it?" Wui Seng asked nervously. "NO IT'S NOT YOU IDIOT I NEED YOU TO TELEPORT THIS NUCLEAR MISSILE TO THE TAJ MAHAL AND BLOW IT UP!" "Then why don't you just shoot it at-" "ARE YOU STUPID THE REASON WHY I HAVEN'T SHOT IT IS BECAUSE NORTH KOREA DOESN'T HAVE ANY SPARE ROCKET FUEL LEFT! I NEED YOU TO TELEPORT IT-" "Ok ok I get it!"

And with that, Wui Seng zipped up his jacket (while strapped to a chair that was strapped to a nuclear missile, no less) and teleported the whole set up to the Taj Mahal.

Which would be alright, if it wasn't for the fact that in between the events of part 2 and just now Yi Jun had outfitted super huge rocket engines to the Taj Mahal and lifted it into space. And he'd also amassed a really huge collection of ties. So Wui Seng teleported the missile to the space left by the Taj Mahal, confusing him greatly.

So where was Yi Jun? Well, he'd managed to land on the school field, surprise June and take her by surprise. So June called for Sean and Javier's help. Sean and Javier turned up suddenly and set about fighting Yi Jun. So Sean suddenly jumped into a robot of his and started fighting with Yi Jun (who had equipped himself with a tie that had many ties attached to it, each with their own different abilities), while Javier just ate a sandwich with June and started a live commentary.

June: Hello and welcome to the school field motherf*****s, where Yi Jun and Sean are fighting! I hope Sean wins and beats the s*** out of Yi Jun with his retarded ties and all that!

Javier: I know right!

June: And Sean throws a right hook that Yi Jun dodges! That a**hole!

Javier: Yi Jun fires a laser that Sean dodges!

June: But wait! What's that between Sean's robot's legs? It looks like a-

Javier: Oh my god! Is that a...

June and Javier together: CANNON PENIS?!

Sean fired the cannon penis. What happened next is a little bit complicated, but I'll try to explain.

Wui Seng, extremely confused and disappointed, had teleported himself and the nuclear missile back to the school field to report his failure to June, at the same time putting the nuclear missile in the path of the cannon penis laser beam.

Everything exploded, but then Yi Jun was smart enough to put back his explodinating tie, and unexplode everything, which meant the nuclear missile unexploded and the laser beam flew back towards Sean's robot's cannon penis, but since Sean's robot wasn't affected by the tie's effects, it blew up the cannon penis. Which made Sean really angry.

Sean yelled FUCK! so loudly everyone in the world suddenly realised they had several bajillion f***s to give, leading to a crash in the stock market for f***s, and in the days afterwards everyone was so busy giving away their f***s that they didn't notice where they were going, and as a result, many people fell off cliffs and died.

THE END. Stay tuned for part 4! Note that we still haven't found John Confession. But we will.

1 comment:

  1. And you will find John Confession, will you kill it (I prefer neuter gender when the gender is unknown, as unknown as an x in Math.) like the memes? "But I will find you, and I will kill you."

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